This and That

Warning:  This will likely be a random blog post.  Full of lots of thoughts that don't even go together:)

It probably would be titled better as, The Crazy Postpartum Lady:)

Yesterday Mitchell was 2 weeks old!  And he is sure a  sweet boy!  Today I'm feeling more adjusted and starting to feel like he has always been in our life.  I took him out of the house for the first time yesterday to the doctor for his regular scheduled appointment.    He weighed in at 6lb 5oz and he has grown a 1/2 inch.  It was good to talk to his doctor, but I just have to confess I was a complete freak at the doctor's office.

First, Mitchell and I went into the 'well' child waiting room and if I would have had it, I would have wrapped the kid in bubble wrap.  I left him tucked in his car seat and only moved the car seat twice to escape other little kids(strangers) who were approaching his seat to take a peek:) 

Then the nurse came out and called for, "Mitchell".  Like a good mom, I just sat there in my own world.  She called it another time and I finally realized that she was calling for my own son.  The nurse and I had a good laugh and I reassured her that he was in good hands with me:)  I'm just not use to having another child in my life with a different name other than Nathan and Mya. 

Thank goodness the nurse was so sweet.  I told her nicely that I was kind of freaked out about germs and that she would need to re-bleach and clean the table and scale followed by another new paper for the table.  She was so sweet to do all the above, and even bleached down the measuring tape to measure his head and her stethoscope.  If only she could have seen me walking into the building not touching anything...quite a sight I'm sure.  And of course Mitchell's diaper bag/my purse was sporting hand sanitizer:)  I just can't stand the thought of him getting sick.  The doctor was very sweet to let us leave through a side door so we didn't have to leave through the germ infested lobby.  She understood why I was wanting to be extra careful.

 

 Mitchell is such a sweet and content little guy.  He is like clock work and wakes up every 3 hours to eat.  He spends a small time being alert and looking around and then he is right back to sleep.  We are adjusting to waking up every 3 hours at night.  By the end of the day we tend to be very tired. Personally I think the sleep deprivation is the hardest part about having a new baby!  Sheldon and I make a good team though and we are thankful for the help we have from him mom during the day this week while we are attempting to keep him inside our house for a while. 

I think there are times that Sheldon wonders about my sanity around here:)  He especially gets worried about me when I break out in crazy singing, or when I somehow manage to put my shirt on backwards or inside out, and when I put some very interesting things on my 'to-do' lists.  He sure keeps me humored in my delirious tired state!  I do feel bad for him when I go between laughing and crying. 

I remember with the other kids that it is always strange to have a new baby home at first.  There are such weird emotions and feelings the first few days.  Oh course I feel so excited to have another child.  The postpartum hormones are so crazy though and I'm thankful that I have good coping skills to deal with the unbalanced hormones.  I am always overwhelmed at first by the big responsibility that God entrusts to us through a child.  I feel like so much is expected of me when I'm been given so much.  These feelings of being overwhelmed tend to make me to think about things that I don't even need to worry about like, worrying about dying and worrying about dying before I have my kids raised, and also worrying about the world I'm raising my kids in.  Ugh.  Thankfully I'm over that, thank goodness!  I have to be careful about taking those crazy thoughts out of my head and making all of my thoughts obedient to Christ.  Now that we are getting in a routine around here and are getting adjusted to Mitchell being home and apart of our family, I have settled down a bit.  It never helps when I get over tired either:)  I think next week will seem more 'normal'. 

I do find it hard to balance all the big kids' needs too when I'm working on meeting the needs of a new baby.  Sometimes I feel guilty when I'm relying on others to help with their needs.  They love their new brother dearly, but I think they crave our routines to get back to normal.  Next week we will get back to some of our normal routines.  It has been good this week though to let Mitchell settle in and not have to have him out and about. 

 

 I am finding out that it is easy to feel stir crazy.  I am by nature a person that is always busy.  I feel good at the end of a busy day that I have accomplished lots of things.  Having Mitchell has made me slow things down and just take care of my kiddos.  This newborn stage is such a short season that I don't want to wish it away.  I want to enjoy all the time snuggling with him.  I don't want to forget or lose sight that the best ministry I have is raising my own kids.  I want to enjoy all my time with them while I have 3 months off of work.  But I would be lying if I didn't admit that I'm missing getting out and being social with others. 

I have been able to have two short one hour outings since coming home with Mitchell.  Sheldon's sister and I made a fast and fun trip to Target on Saturday.  I love that store!!!  On my second outing on Monday, a trip to HyVee, I realized that I hadn't been out for a while.  First I noticed that it took my eyes several minutes to adjust to the sunlight...it had been a while since I have seen the sun:)  I then managed to strike up a long conversation with the check out guy and managed to irritate the lady behind me because she had to wait too long in the check out line.  Oops....guess I was missing some social cues.  I just smiled and took my bags and headed to my car.  I did though enjoy the conversation with the cashier.  Poor guy probably didn't know what to do with the chatty postpartum lady! 

About the only other thing to mention is my larger than life appetite!  Wowsers!  I'm pretty sure I could out eat any man right now.  We have had some delicious meals come through our door.  This week and next our small group at church is bringing in meals on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays.  For some reason (probably these silly hormones) I could just sob after they drop off their meals.  I am touched that some of these people hardly know us but yet are still taking the time to prepare a meal and drop it off at our house.  And I'm finding it a great way to get to know people in our small group that I have never connected with before.  I do so much better one on one with someone rather than a group setting:)

Mitchell had his newborn pictures taken by Aunt Shayla today.  I can hardly wait to see then after she has done all her editing and share them!!!!  I love pictures!!!!  I think she got some really cute ones.  We are all tired after a 'big' day....we had a quick visit by a dear friend this morning and then fun with Aunt Shayla, cousins, and grandma this afternoon.  It by far was the most social day we have all had!  Mya loved having someone to play with today....she was getting stir crazy like me:) 

See, I told you this was going to be random:) 

I couldn't love this picture more!  Mitchell is one loved little boy! 

Mitchell James Stocker

The following are the daily emails and updates we sent out to friends and family when Mitchell James was born on Jan 22nd.  The updates are from his stay at the hospital until we brought him home. 

Jan 22nd 2013 Birthday

Mitchell James Stocker joined us early this morning at 3:32am weighing 6lbs and 19 1/2 inches long. He came a month early after I had some abnormal labs. He is a beautiful baby boy, but will be spending a little time in the NICU to make sure his lungs are a little stronger. The doctor thinks he will be there about a week. They feel like in a couple of days he will develop the surfactant that is needed to make his lungs function properly. He is on high flow oxygen, is on a couple of monitors, has a feeding tube, and is on a couple of antibiotics just in case he has an infection. He is just so cute and we can hardly wait until we can hold him.

We are thankful for God's amazing gift today. Keep our little guy in your prayers. We are off to bed as we have been up 42 hours:) 

We can't wait to bring him home and have two excited kiddos waiting for him. It is official that boys rule at our house now:) Because of the flu season the hospital is not allowing any children under 18 to visit.

With love and full hearts,


Marcy and Sheldon

Jan 23rd 2013 1 day Old

Hi!

Just wanted to give a quick update before we head to bed tonight. Its been a busy day for Mitchell, but we are ending the day on a much quieter note. Thanks for everyone's prayers today.

We started the morning with Mitch needing more oxygen and as the morning went on he needed more and more. Poor kid was just miserable, fussy, and restless. By noon he was having more trouble with his breathing and was working so hard. After an chest x-ray they decided to intubate him briefly so they could give Infasurf, which is like surfactant. At first they were waiting to see if he could make his own in a couple of days but decided to go ahead with the medicine when he was having trouble this morning.

When we got back to his room after they gave him the medicine to help his lungs work better, he was like a different kid. They were able to extubate him right away and then take him off the high flow oxygen and put him on the regular wall oxygen at a 1/2 liter. His oxygen level was much better(back up into the high 90's instead of 80's), his breathing had slowed way down(went from 110 breaths/minute down to 70-80/minute), his pulse was better(went from 140's to 120's), and he just overall looked more comfortable and was resting without fussing and grunting. We were so excited and relieved. I nearly picked up the nurse when she told me how things had gone.

Another chest x-ray this afternoon showed he has a left pneumothorax. This can be from several different things, but most likely is from his lungs being immature and from him breathing so hard this morning. The doctor mid day ,with a needle, took out 40ml of air to help the lung re-expand. Otherwise they will keep watching this with x-rays and keep him laying on his left side. They will also be drawing more blood gases to monitor how his lungs are working as well. The kiddo has sure been poked a lot in the last 2 days. His chest xray this evening was stable.

They are holding off on feeding him so his body can just focus on his lungs working correctly with no distractions. We still can't hold him but hope to soon.

The only other excitement this afternoon after things had finally calmed down with his breathing was when Mitchell decided to pull a 'lets try not to breath and scare my mom stunt'. He was a little sleepy after the procedure today and just had a a moment of apnea. I wont lie, I freaked out. I ran over and opened his incubator and gave him a good shake. It startled him and of course made him breath. The nurses came in when they heard the alarm go off. All was well though. Those sweet nurses were so kind as I had a little mommy melt down after he scared me like that. Little stinker. He has a since of humor like his daddy:) He was just seeing if we were awake apparently. I have felt like its been a little bit of a roller coaster ride today for sure. We are good and tired tonight.


With all of this said though, I am able to keep this in perspective. He is really a healthy boy who just came early and needs a little more time to let his lungs get stronger before we take him home. He is most likely the healthiest baby in the nicu, so we are grateful for his overall good health. We just love him so much and want him well soon. Just thought we would pass on this quick update. Thank for all your care and support and prayers!

I will be discharged from the hospital tomorrow and then we will visit Mitchell each day until he can come home. Will be weird to leave without him tomorrow.

We are off to bed. For some reason we are more tired tonight than we were last night. Guess it's catching up with us.

Love,


Marcy and Sheldon

Jan 24th  and 25th 2013 (Written on the 25th) 2 & 3 Days Old
 

Good Morning!

We are happy to report the slow and steady progress that Mitchell has made the last couple of days. We are thankful for the good sleep that we got last night in our own bed which makes coping so much easier:)

So we will start with yesterday. Yesterday I finally got to hold Mitchell. Dr Nold made some serious brownie points with me when she told us it was ok to hold him. I held him with lots of tears of joy 3 times yesterday. He loved being held too. When I held him his respirations would settle down into the 30's and his oxygen level would climb. He is such a precious little boy to hold. Of course he got lots of kisses too.

Other events from yesterday:

• They decreased his oxygen down to 1/4 Liter with the 02 blender at 60%
• All his antibiotics were discontinued since there is no signs of infection.
• They started feeding him through his feeding tube, 10ml every 3 hours.
• As far as the left pneumothorax(meaning that his left lung is collapsed and air leaked to the outside of the lung space) they allowed him to be off of his left side yesterday and allowed him to move on both sides and tummy. The reason they kept him on his left side the day before was to compress his lung and seal the leak in his lung. Now they will allow it to reexpand on its own and hope the leak doesn't return. His respirations yesterday were 65-80/min. 20-60 is normal/acceptable.

So yesterday morning was really encouraging and exciting but yesterday afternoon was really hard for this momma(again, another rollercoaster ride). I was discharged from the hospital and had to leave Mitchell here. It made me cry like nobody's business! It felt like we were abandoning him and my mommy heart simply ached. I just wanted to take him home and found it really hard to be patient for all the things to fall into place for that to happen. Mitchell as of yesterday was still very sleepy and lacked any hunger cues. Just a sign his body is still sick and needs more time to heal. I did leave the hospital yesterday about 3:30p so we could go home and have some time with our big kids. We were all happy to see each other. The evening was kind of tense though. And the big kids are a little sick too, which stressed me out. Just so many emotions, things to do, and extreme tiredness. We are feeling much better this morning after some better rest last night. We are so grateful that Marcia(Sheldon's mom) has stepped in and is helping with the big kids. They are in great hands while we continue to need to be with Mitchell. As a mom I feel like my heart is being pulled in so many ways. Thankfully the kids are coping well with me not being there much right now.

Yesterday I woke up super tired. While I was getting ready there were a song that popped into my head. I hadn't heard it forever, but it was such an encouragement all day and gave me something good to meditate on when I was tired and overwhelmed with the day. It is a song by Travis Cotrell called 'My Help (psalm 121)"

Psalm 121

¹ I look up to the mountains—
does my help come from there?
² My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth!

³ He will not let you stumble;
the one who watches over you will not slumber.
⁴ Indeed, he who watches over Israel
never slumbers or sleeps.

⁵ TheLord himself watches over you!
The Lordstands beside you as your protective shade.
⁶ The sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon at night.

⁷ TheLord keeps you from all harm
and watches over your life.
⁸ The Lordkeeps watch over you as you come and go,
both now and forever.

We even played the song for Mitchell when I held him for the first time yesterday. He is so little right now, but someday we hope he knows where his daily help comes from, especially when he faces any 'mountains'. And since he is a Stocker, it is most likely he will find some mountains along the way:)

Today is another good day. We talked to Dr Nold this morning and she had more fun things to tell me:

• Oxygen is at 1/4Liter with blender at 25%. They will keep weaning this down.

• He will be switched to a regular crib instead of his incubator

• Chest x-ray showed that he still had his lung collapsed but it was starting to reexpand. There is no air leak today. They will not do another x-ray unless needed.

• She said it was ok to attempt to breast feed him. I'm really excited about this but I know it will be a work in progress. The kid sleeps ALL the time. I haven't seen his eyes even open. But at least this is a step in the right direction.

The Dr said he will continue to be sleepy and tired because he likely doesn't feel good from all the respiratory distress that he had. And also because he worked so hard the last couple of days to breath. It just will take time before he is more alert. His resp rate is 30-60/min today, which is better. O2 level is still good and heart rate is 120's.

So basically the goals will be to wean oxygen off eventually, increase his feedings and add breast feeding if he is able, and let the poor kid rest so he feels better. Looks like it will be next week sometime before he is discharged.

Thanks for all your love, support, prayers, kind words, visits, gifts, food, text messages, etc. We are beyond grateful and continue to be amazed at how the body of Christ has surrounded us. We have to do this one day at a time, and allow ourselves lots of grace. We look forward to the day we can take this sweet boy home. He is darling!

Love,

Marcy and Sheldon

Jan 26th 2013 4 Days Old

Its been a good day in the NICU with Mitchell. It is again another day of good progress. Sometimes the progress each day makes me feel like I could take him home the next day but I know it still will be into next week before that could happen. I just get super excited at the idea of loading him up in my van to take home.

Dr Ellsbury was in first thing this morning and gave me permission to nurse him as often as he would tolerate. Mitchell did great and nursed 20 minutes at 9am and 30 minutes at noon. He was able to be off his oxygen for 4 hours today but then after lunch we was worn out from all his hard work this morning and they put it back on him. His respirations continue to be between 30 and 40/minute which is really good.

His IV and IV fluids got discontinued as well since he is starting to eat and they are also giving him 30ml or food every 3 hours in his feeding tube.

We just finished his first bath. His hair is super soft now and reminds us of how Mya's hair was when she was born.

Sheldon was able to stay at home for a while today and get some things ready for when we bring Mitchell home. A dear friend of mine came today that is very familiar with the NICU experience and I was blessed by her company until Sheldon was able to come see Mitch this afternoon.

So, it was another day of progress. We are crazy about him and cherish all the holding and cares we can do with him every day. We are thankful for the good hands he is in at the Mercy NICU. I sure have enjoyed all of his nurses.

Thanks again for all of your kindness, support, prayers, and constant encouraging words through texting and email. We also appreciate the house full of gifts, flowers, meals, etc. We are blessed! We look forward to the time we can finally show Mitchell off to everyone.

Love,
Marcy

Jan 27th 2013 5 Days Old

Today has been another good day for Mitchell.  He has been hard at work nursing every 3 hours.  Each time he is able to nurse a full 30 minutes and gets most of his volume that way.  They make up the difference with his feeding tube after he is done nursing.  They want him to get plenty of intake/calories while his body still is healing.  The Dr increased his feedings to 40ml every 3 hours.  He still hasn't been able to be weaned off of his oxygen but the Dr said that could take some more time.  The good news is that every day we are seeing him get stronger and stronger.  We are enjoying seeing him be more alert and he is even letting us know around the 3 hours mark that he is getting hungry.  He loves his pacifier when he gets fussy.  Today we saw him open his eyes with each feeing which was great! Such a darn cutie! 

The only other thing going on for us is that Mya is still sick.  She is going to the Dr tomorrow morning to make sure she doesn't have the flu.  Mitchell's Dr today said she needed to be seen to make sure.  We are hoping it is not the flu because it would mean that we would have mask when we come to be with Mitchell and all of us would need to be on Tamiflu for prevention.  So while you are praying for Mitchell, say some prayers for our other kids to be healthy and for Sheldon and I to stay germ free.  We are so tired today after we were up with Miss Mya last night.  I actually lost track of how many times we got up with her.  I was able to catch a couple short naps here at the hospital in between Mitch's cares.  Sheldon stayed home with the big kids today but came up to see Mitchell for about an hour.  While he was holding him he, in his own exhaustion, fell soundly asleep....snoring and all!  We have to catch our rest anyway we can:)  I caught a picture of the two of them sleeping today.  Nothing better or more relaxing than a sleeping baby in your arms! 

Love,
Marcy

Jan 28th 2013 6 Days Old

It seems crazy that tomorrow Mitchell will be a week old. He has done so well this week and we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

First I will report that Mya does NOT have the flu! We were relieved and so happy that we don't have to deal with the flu right before we take Mitchell home. She woke up feeling much better today and even slept all night. (I slept great too....although Sheldon was up with indigestion for 2 hours.....pretty much one of us Stockers has some sort of issue every night. You can call anytime of the day and someone will be awake!) The Dr. said she has a cold. So yeah for no flu!!!! Having Mitchell early has made me a little bit of a germ freak, which I am not normally. I just want him to be safe.

So at the NICU, I've decided that you become obsessed about numbers around here. Especially when all you have to do all day is look at the numbers and talk about the numbers:) Mitchell's monitor numbers look amazing today(heart rate, respirations, and oxygen level). He has done really well with his breathing today and is barely on any oxygen. The nurse said his lungs sound great and the left lung has lots of air moving through it now. Tomorrow they will try taking the oxygen off! Yeah!

The other numbers that tend to make me crazy are the amounts they want him to eat every three hours. They like his tummy very full of calories so he can grow and heal good. It stresses me out a little because I can't quite provide all he needs. I will spare you of all the pumping and feeding details, but basically I am working hard so I can stay caught up with him and so our transition to home can hopefully go well. The lactation consultant came into and was really good at encouraging me. She said that when I take him home I will initially do lots of feeding him so that my supply will match his demand. She warned me I will not get very much sleep those first few nights at home. And the staff also said that we should limit visitors and extra holding and passing while we get settled at home. They said he will need lots of rest to match all the work he will be doing. If only she knew how motherly Mya is going to be once we bring him home:) So I just need to relax and trust that this nursing thing will all work out, especially once I get him home. I'm a perfectionist so its a challenge for me. I only cried once about this today:)

The other change with his feedings is that they will be giving him bottles overnight instead of feeding him through his feeding tube. If he does well with that, it will put us much closer to going home!! I will not stay all night to do all of his feedings. It is nearly impossible to sleep around here, even between feedings. Lots of bells and whistles to keep you awake. The Dr wants him to take 45ml every 3 hours.

Mitch has been very content today. And before each feeding he wakes up and I get to see his pretty eyes. He has done great nursing all day and is getting stronger each day. And of course I have enjoyed all of his snuggles. He has the softest skin!

As for me, I think this small room is making me kind of looney. One minute I'm laughing at funny you tube videos, the next I'm crying about something, then the next I'm enjoying my baby. Then because I have lots of time to think, I text Sheldon all day about things that need done around the house. The list is getting so long! And then if that's not annoying enough, I send another text to tell him the perfect order to things in. Oh its a good thing he has a good sense of humor and loves me! So its a good thing that it seems like we are closer to going home. I'm sure if our stay here would go on too long I would be found talking to myself and not making any sense:) Isn't sweet Mitchell lucky to have me as his mommy?! LOL!

So thats the report on another good day here. It is amazing to me how fast little babies heal and get better! I am so grateful for all of you who are praying. We see huge answers to prayer everyday. Wer are resting in His protection....it's so much better than ours!

With love,
Marcy 

Jan 29th 2013 One Week Old

Mitchell is oh so close to going home. He has been so strong today. Today he is starting to meet all of the goals that will let him go home. First thing this morning they took off his oxygen and he has been able to keep his oxygen saturations above 90% all day. Hopefully he can maintain his oxygen saturations overnight after a big day. He also is doing great at taking all of his feedings by mouth and not having to use his feeding tube. He has nursed like a champ, but still doesn't always get satisfied when he is done. In those cases, he finishes his feedings with a bottle. They have let him guide his feedings some today, which was nice that we had some flexibility. They just require that he drinks 180ml every 12 hours. Again, always watching numbers:) He and I will just keep working on feeding so I can eventually get his tummy full like he likes. I am eating lots and drinking gallons of water and nursing him frequently to hopefully achieve that goal. We may have to do some supplementing with him when we initially get home.

So the plan is to make sure Mitchell can keep his oxygen level up(above 90%) and take all his feedings by mouth(either by bottle or by nursing) for 48 hours total. If he is able to do that, we will be looking at going home Thursday. YEAH!!!!!

Tonight they will do his car seat check to make sure his oxygen level stays up while he is in the car seat. They said it is harder for babies to breath in their car seat. Hopefully he will pass that test without any problems. He will need to be good in his seat because I have a feeling, with two older siblings and the running we do with them, that he will spend a little time in the car with Mom!

Tomorrow the Dr will come and do his circumcision. They way I have it figured he will be nice and crabby to take home on Thursday:)

As far as the 'to-do' lists at home, Sheldon is doing great. He came to the hospital this morning to see Mitchell and then went home to finish getting things done before Thursday. He only ventured from the 'to-do' list briefly yesterday to install a new doorbell and toothbrush holder:) I am so glad he has been able to take so many days off with us. Don't know what I would do without his help!!!

Thanks everyone for putting up with all these updates. I find that it's a good way for me to collect my thoughts at the end of the day and have a journal of his stay at the hospital. It is very exciting that this journey is wrapping up. We are so grateful for his quick progress and his overall great health. He just needed a few days to get stronger. The NICU provides quite a perspective. I know that parents spend months with their babies up here and have very sick kiddos. My heart aches for them, as I can't imagine doing this any longer than we have.....not to mention that many of them have babies that have major medical conditions. Even though this week has been emotional and has had some doses of stress, I feel super grateful for our situation. I am also grateful for the support that surrounds us each day. There are so many people in our life that are more than willing to step in and help us out with every aspect of our life. We are beyond blessed. Please know that your support, prayers, text messages, emails, gifts, help with kids, meals, etc, etc have not gone unnoticed. Our hearts have been touched.

Love,
Marcy


January 30, 2013  8 Days Old

Lamentations 3:22-24

²² The faithful love of the Lord never ends!^[a]
His mercies never cease.
²³ Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

I am a little overcome with emotions today as I reflect back on this week and also look forward to taking Mitchell home tomorrow. I look forward to us all being piled on the couch together tomorrow looking at this sweet baby boy. It's crazy to me how as a parent my heart can grow and have so much love for another child. My heart is overflowing with love! If only these kids knew how crazy I am about them!

With each season we go through, I'm learning to trust in the Lord more and more. His plans are always the best and He knows just how to make us more fruitful and more surrendered to Him. His ways are always perfect. I had a friend last Saturday remind me that we as humans prefer to be on the 'mountain top', meaning life if usually going easier there, and we often resist having to go down into the 'valleys'. But the best thing about the valleys is that is where it is green and lush, and always were growth happens. And so of course we have grown this week and are thankful for that. We walk away with a beautiful baby boy and also nuggets that we will carry with us forever.

Zephaniah 3:17

¹⁷ For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.^[a]He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Today I have enjoyed a quiet day with Mitchell. A day of lots of snuggles and feeding. I had a friend remind me last night that this time in the NICU has provided one on one attention and time with Mitchell that I wouldn't have gotten at home if we would have taken him home right away. I so cherished that reminder. Mitchell will be in high demand with his siblings and our family and friends when we get home. Hopefully he will adjust to the commotion easily, as our house is rarely quiet.

Psalm 5:3

³ Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.
Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.

As a nurse it has been good for me to see the patient/family perspective instead of being on the nurse side. Each patient perspective that I have had has always made me be a better nurse. It makes me more sensitive to their vulnerability and fears. I love being a nurse and feel I am very sensitive, caring, and willing to do whatever it takes for a patient to have a good day. This experience and others have reminded me how vulnerable it is to be a patient. It is scary when you are sick or have a sick family member. You are fully relying on them to have good character and to take excellent care of you or your loved one. Leaving Mitchell every night has been hard, and I have to leave trusting that the nurses would do the right thing for him. As a patient/family member, I am able to read the nurse in the first two minutes they are in our room. I can tell if they really care or if they are more task oriented. Mitchell has gotten excellent care, but I have greatly appreciated the nurses that take the time to get to know us, use a sweet voice when they care for Mitchell, handle him with an extra gentle touch, rejoice with us in his progress, and that are sensitive to a post partum momma. The nurse last night actually thanked us for letting her take care of Mitchell, told us how cute he was, and was excited to cuddle him with each of his feedings. I always want to maintain a sensitive, giving, selfless, and sacrificial heart when I care for my patients. It truly is a ministry. It is always good for me to be reminded how vulnerable it is to be on the other side of the fence.

Psalm 90:14

¹⁴ Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,
so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.

Mitchell's Day:

When I came in this morning Mitchell was tube free!!!!!! He looked like a normal baby. He ate great all night and his oxygen level was excellent, even better than yesterday. They started his morning with his circumcision:( He did great and made him only a little fussy. He was a little more tired today because of the procedure this morning, but he still managed to eat great in between his sleeping. He sure loved his grape flavored Tylenol today.

Mitchell's passed his car seat test and hearing test with flying colors today. I was a little nervous because I didn't want there to be anything that would set us back from going home. He looked so darn cute in his car seat. And it will be even better tomorrow when we carry him out to the van with him in it! I might just bust out in a dance move when we put him in the van! How exciting!!!

Psalm 118:28-29

²⁸ You are my God, and I will praise you!
You are my God, and I will exalt you!

²⁹ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.

Tomorrow the plan is to be discharged in the morning after the Doctor comes in to check him over one last time. Hopefully by late morning we will be on our way home. I can't wait to send you one last update tomorrow after we get him home.

Again, we have been touched by all of your support, love, and prayers. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! We are so very blessed and humbled by all this undeserved love we have been shown!

We look forward to seeing all of you at some point and letting you finally get to meet and hold Mitchell. The first few days at home will be kind of crazy, so we would just ask that you give us a few days to adjust and love on this little guy at home before lots of visitors come. We want to make sure he is good and strong and adjusted before we allow extra activity that would tire him out. The staff at the hospital said the first several days at home we need to be careful and also need to be focused on feeding and sleeping. I'm so excited to see all of you though. Please just call or text before you stop by the house to make sure Mitchell is up for visitors. And of course come very healthy:) I will have plenty of hand sanitizer for all you sweet people when you come! I will be glad when this flu and RSV season is over!

It's been a another great day! Go God! And thanks for letting me share Mitchell's progress with each of you every day.

Love,

Marcy

Jan 31st 2013 9 Days Old (Going home day)

We brought Mitchell home today at 11:30am! We cried sweet tears of joy taking him out of the hospital and into our home. It is wonderful to all be together as a family. Nathan and Mya love him dearly and are proud big brother and big sister! They loved being able to hold him and love on him for the first time. Mitchell did good with the transition, although by tonight we could tell he was a little over tired from a big day and out of his hospital 'rountine'. I'm reminded that the first few days at home are a huge adjustment for everyone. And kind of overwhelming for the Mom!

Once we got home we all were so relaxed and ready for naps. It was just nice to be in our home. Without all the adrenaline and constant running around, we were sleepy parents. The big kids kept us going with all their excitement though:)

Mya told us repeatedly today that Mitchell is sooooo adorable and soooooo cute. She couldn't tell us that enough. And we of course agree with her. There was only one moment that she didn't think he was very cute. She helped me with the first diaper change at home and we ended up with a big surprise. I thought I was playing it safe and protecting us from getting any pee on us, but what I didn't plan for was getting covered with poop. Mitchell literally shot poop a good 3 feet, which landed on Mya, myself, and the couch. Like a good mom/nurse I let out a scream as I was not prepared at all for that. Mya looked at us in complete horror and couldn't decide if she should cry or not. Sheldon and I were laughing hysterically. Mya then informed us she was going to her room where it was safe! Too funny!

We are headed to bed hoping for a little sleep tonight. It should be interesting. Thanks for all of your well wishes for Mitchell's send off to home today. We have been entrusted with so much and are overwhelmed by the blessing and gift of Mitchell's life.

Thanks to all of you who continue to send prayers and support us as we are home now. We are so grateful for you!

Love,
Marcy

A New Day

A New Day......One Day at a Time.

Are you ever just thankful for a new day?  Yesterday as I was traveling I was reflecting on this concept of God giving us a new day every single day.  I was reflecting on some work that God has been doing in my own life in regards to worry and fear.  Over the last year I have been working on just living today and not wasting time looking too far ahead. 

When you think about the start of a new day it really is pretty amazing.  It's like a new gift every single day.  There are lots of times I'm thankful for a new day..... like when the day before being a mom has been hard, or when I haven't been the wife I should have been, or when I get in the way of God's work, or when work has been challenging, or when I've gone my own way in pride instead of following God's way.  Seriously, the list could go on and on. 

A while ago I read a book titled, Humility True Greatness, by C.J. Mahaney.  I need to go back and read this book again, but there were a couple of things that I took away from this book that have helped me approach each new day.  Chapter 5 of this book is titled, "As Each Day Begins".  The author lays out some really good practical ways to begin your day.  He recommended a couple practical things to do as you begin each new day and these are the two things have stuck with me since reading this book. (These are only two of many ways he lists in the book)

• Begin your day acknowledging your need for God.
• Begin your day expressing gratitude to God.   

I love how he mentions that thankfulness is a soil in which pride does not easily grow!

I could easily type out this entire chapter, as he gives some really easy approaches to starting a new day.  But the two I listed above have become my morning routine as I peel open my eyes in the shower each day.  These two things remind me that I'm not in charge of the day that lies ahead and that the new day is really a gift from God that needs to be used for Him.

I am such a slow learner sometimes but slowly I'm learning to live today and not waste time on thinking about the days that are ahead.  Some days I'm better at this than others.  (I know my weak areas that can make me steer off of this course easily though!)

My kids have taught me a lot about starting a new day.  First of all they wake up fresh every morning.  Like really fresh.  Always happy and ready for the day.  Sometimes more ready for the day than I am:)  Secondly, they have taught be to forgive right away and move on in a fresh way even when we encounter rough patches in our day together.  And even if one day is hard in the parenting department, it doesn't mean that the next day has to carry over with that same tone.

I have also learned a lot about starting a new day in my work setting.  Some days are really taxing and stressful.  But just because one day goes that way, doesn't mean that the next will go that way.  I've learned to work really hard while I'm there, giving all I have, and then I go home...even if I practically have to be wheeled out in a wheelchair:)  Now I only know my work schedule about a week in advance and beyond that I have no clue(which can really annoy people who want to know my schedule).  I use to spend a lot of wasted time worrying about which days I had to work and when I could be home with my kids, but honestly I was just creating stress that was unnecessary.   By approaching work this way, I simply go to work, do my job, work hard, serve as much as I can, and then come home with a clear mind....not even thinking about work until the next time I clock in.  Probably the most taxing thing to me at work is dealing with other coworkers' unnecessary bad attitudes.  That can wreck my day faster than having a really hard patient.  It can be so easy for ourselves to get in the way of really serving others who are really sick and have lots of needs.  I know that my 'bad' days at work are normally because I have been too selfish. 

And of course my own marriage is grateful for new days as well.  Sometimes marriage is hard and that is OK.  We are always given new chances to be a better spouse.  Sometimes when I have failed as a wife the day before, I'm grateful that there is a new day to do better.  I think the same is true in all types of relationships.  I think one of the worse things (and one of the most tempting things) we do as humans is carry over from day to day old baggage and unforgiveness. 

For so many years I have overlooked that a new day is a gift.  Really it is an amazing gift when you think about it.  So often though its easy to overlook that and just step out of bed and right into our own agenda for the day, taking the new day for granted. 

Yesterday I looked up a few verses that have been important to me as I've been learning and growing in this area. 

Lamentations 3:22-24

²² The faithful love of the Lord never ends!^[a]
His mercies never cease.
²³ Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

 

Psalm 118:24

²⁴ This is the day the Lord has made.
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

 

Zephaniah 3:17

¹⁷ For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.^[a]
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

 

Psalm 5:3

³ Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.
Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.

 

Psalm 90:14

¹⁴ Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,
so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.

 

Psalm 118:28-29

²⁸ You are my God, and I will praise you!
You are my God, and I will exalt you!

²⁹ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!
His faithful love endures forever.

 

Matthew 6:31-34

³¹ “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ ³² These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. ³³ Seek the Kingdom of God^[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
³⁴ “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

It's so nice to be reminded in these verses that each day is a new day and a gift.  That each day we can be joyful because of Him.  That we can present all of our requests to Him and depend on Him for all of our needs. And that His mercies are new and that He is faithful.  And that each day we can rejoice because of He is good and His love is never ending.  This area has been and continues to be a work in progress in my own life.  I'm constantly reminded that nothing, not even a new day, can be taken for granted. 

So if you find yourself to be a hot mess like I am, lets just thank Him together for each new day!

(totally bonus pictures that has nothing to do with this post:)

 

35 Weeks

It's hard to believe that we are about a month away from having our baby.  When I look back it has gone really fast.  I suppose having two kids, our family, a full time job, and the normal daily responsibilities has not given me much time to think about how long 40 weeks really is!

I have had an uneventful pregnancy so far and for that I am grateful.  About a week ago I developed extremely itchy skin, especially at night.  It can just be caused from high hormone levels which I had with the other pregnancies, just not as severe.  There isn't much that can be done about it except for using an oatmeal based body wash and lots of lotion. I have even resorted some nights to putting ice packs on my hands to help stop the itching.  I called the doctor yesterday because I was concerned (and going crazy) and he ordered some lab tests to rule out a condition called Cholestasis.  If it turns out to be that he would take the baby early.  We will know the results of the tests in about 5 days.  Hopefully all will be normal. 

Otherwise, I've had lots of energy and all my doctors appointments are going well.  I'm especially loving feel all the baby's movements.  It's an active little thing!  I have avoided a lot of the sickness going around minus a recent episode of the stomach flu.  The baby seems to be right on track with its development.  The only thing that is harder with this pregnancy is working my 12 hour shifts at the hospital.  After two 12 hour shifts in a row at the hospital, it takes a day to recover from my exhaustion and body aches.  It really wipes me out.  Guess I'm not in my 20's anymore:)


The other difference with this pregnancy is that I'm carrying the baby really low.  People keep telling me that I'm not showing very much, but I think it's because the baby is tightly tucked down in my pelvis.  I often tell people when I'm running the halls at work that they might see the baby waving at them one of these days.  That's just how low I think the baby is! I'll be curious if I'm dilated at my appointment tomorrow.

The only other difference has been my thought process.  There are so many things I didn't think about when I had the other two kids. When I was pregnant with Nathan I didn't really consider what a miracle it was to carry and deliver a child. But seven years later as I carry this child, I am constantly amazed at the whole process. (It was when we lost our third child to miscarriage at 12 weeks that made me really cherish things differently. I can so easily take God's blessings and miracles for granted.) The weight also seems heavier on my shoulders this time too. I think more about the world I'm raising my kids in and making sure we are parenting in a way that is pleasing to the Lord and will produce kids that walk with Him. Seven years ago, I just didn't think about all of the things that I do now. Guess that is just part of growing up! And these kids definitely have made us grow up!

It has been so fun to have the sex of the baby be a surprise.  I'm still guessing it's a boy and Sheldon fully believes that it is a girl.  We had to remind Mya the other day when she was hoping for a girl, that we will be happy and love the baby no matter what it is.  We have our two names picked out and I have verified several times with Sheldon that we still like the names:)  It's just hard to imagine our lives with any names except for Nathan and Mya. 

As for the nesting, I'm simply out of control.  I have several lists going and keep running around this house reorganizing and cleaning.  I think I may wear Sheldon out, as his list is pretty big too.  It seems like with every pregnancy I have done something super memorable as I have gotten ready to bring a baby home.  This time I decided to 'deep clean' our kitchen table (because you know, you can't bring a baby home if your table has any stickiness on it....seriously, I need to get a grip!) and managed  to take the varnish off part of the table.  Oops!  Good thing I have a very patient husband who promised to re varnish it! 

We have all our baby necessities bought and are ready to bring this baby home.  The only thing we don't have are clothes, but I figure once the baby is born clothes will be very easy to get ahold of.  Otherwise we just have to install our car seat once we get the van cleaned.  Oh, and in the meantime we will be savoring our last few full nights of sleep(at least in between the 2-4 times I get up to go to the bathroom every night).

The other day Sheldon's sister Shayla came over and took lots of pregnant belly pictures and like always, she did a great job.  Her pictures are my favorite gifts!  Thank you Shayla!!!!!  I wish I could share more with you but for some reason blogger is not letting me upload pictures, which is driving me crazy!!!(Instead I tried to copy and paste in a couple of them to this post from snapfish...we will see if that works or not.)  I'm so glad to have these pictures though as this will be our last baby.  I love being pregnant and love being a mom even more.  It is fun to have pictures to remember the times that I got to experience the miracle of carrying and having a baby.  In some ways it is sad to me that this will be the last one.  But really, my hands are full and I can't imagine trying to juggle more.  It just is weird that this season of my life is coming to a close.  Our kiddos are some of  the greatest blessings in our life. Only God gives these kinds of gifts. 

We will keep you all posted on the baby's arrival.  We can't wait to meet this little one.  If you are lucky the baby's big brother and sister will share with you:)  I have a feeling they will be very protective and nurturing. 



  

A New Game

My sister-in-law Shonya introduced us to a really fun game over Christmas break.  It is called Dutch Blitz.  It is kind of a fun combo of Solitaire and Skipbo.  It is fast pace and I love that you play multiple hands, keeping score until someone reaches 75 points.  It is a great game and I would highly recommend it to add to any family game collection.  Even Nathan is starting to learn how to play and join in on the fun.  He is competitive just like his mom and dad!  We played the game for the first time with our friends Katherine and Kurt the other night.  We simply had a blast with them.  They loved all the pressure of the game and it made us all laugh until we were in tears.  I can hardly wait to have another game night playing Dutch Blitz!

New Year's Resolution

I don't often have a new year's resolution, but this year I do.  And no, it's not losing this baby weight....it WILL come off whether it's on my list or not! 

This year I want to stop wasting so much food, which I hope will help my monthly grocery bill go down.  I am sickened when I have to throw leftovers away or when I pitch fresh foods that we just didn't eat in time before they go bad.  I am especially sickened then when we sit down to eat and pray for a little girl in Indonesia that we sponsor that she would have enough food to eat for that day.  I would hate to think of all the people I could feed with the food I throw away each month. The problem is that I don't know how to only cook enough food for two adults and two small kid mouths.  I tend to cook enough for four to eight adults instead. 

So my approach to this goal will come in a few ways:

1) Eat more leftovers.
2) Freeze half of the meal when a meal is first cooked and then use it as another meal a couple weeks later.
3) Avoid going to the store until we have used up what we have purchased at the previous trip to the store.
4) Share more of our meals with either family or neighbors that are close. 

The other new year's resolution is to recycle more paper.  I know this sounds silly, but the kids bring home so much paper from school and church, not to mention the paper that comes through the mail.  I typically just throw the unwanted items into the trash, but I have realized that we throw a TON of paper away each week.  So I now have a box for papers by our recycling bin.  I figure every little bit of recycling helps.

We'll see how this all goes.  I am really hoping to make some dramatic changes to our grocery situation as I know our grocery bill will be going up with diapers and formula eventually.

Christmas Break

It has been a full and memorable Christmas break at our house.  Just thought I would share what we have been up to this last week.  We were lucky enough to have a great snow storm come into town to make Nathan's school break a couple of days longer.  The snow certainly has added to the fun if you ask our kids. 

Here are a few of the highlights from the last week and a half....

These cookies are not as pretty as the ones I usually buy;)

 










Baking
The kids and I made some delicious Candy Cane cookies.  They loved the mixing and rolling and twisting of the cookies along with crushing the peppermints with a hammer for the topping.  These cookies lasted about 1 day.  Yummy! 

Visiting Family
We all loaded up and headed over to Sheldon's oldest sister Shonya's house for a day after the storm was over.  My kids LOVE their cousins and crave to see them often...on all sides of our family.  With all of our kids in school and with all of our work schedules it makes it hard to see each other as often as we would like.  So glad we took advantage of this day to spend with them.  The kids were missing their cousins for sure! We of course laughed a ton, got caught up with each other, ate until we were stuffed, played games, watched a movie, and were simply lazy.  We hardly saw the kids as they were off playing.  I only caught a couple of pictures from this day.


The kids of course enjoyed sledding and playing outside in the snow.

Kiana and Mya in their Hello Kitty hats:)

We are fortunate to have all of our family on both sides within and hour and a half of us.  If only our kids knew how lucky they are!



Brown Family Christmas
We celebrated Christmas with my side of the family the Sunday before Christmas.  Our kids really look forward to this day as Grandma and Grandpa do lots of spoiling.  The kids of course were happy to see all of their cousins and aunts and uncles along with grandma Carrie Mae too.  My mom goes to lots of work to make sure the house is cleaned and decorated, gifts are wrapped, and that we have plenty of food to eat during the day.  My parents enjoy having us all together even though the day is usually a bit hectic.



We've got some cute nieces and nephews huh?!

 

 Christmas Eve

 

We enjoyed a quiet and relaxing Christmas Eve before heading to service at our church that evening.  We ended the night by watching Home Alone and eating pizza.  We missed being with our friends that we normally hang out with on Christmas Eve, but look forward to time with them another year. 

Christmas Day
I had to laugh on Christmas morning when the kids ran to the tree to see all their presents....Nathan quietly and nicely mentioned that there wasn't as many presents under the tree as there normally was in previous years.  He wasn't upset, but was just stating the obvious:)  But they had such a great time with the presents they got.  The nice thing about them getting less is that they played with everything and enjoyed each item more than if they would have gotten a ton of gifts and had too much to play with. 
The kids were very sweet giving Sheldon and I our gifts.  They were right there for each gift we opened.  And Mya could hardly keep the gifts a secret! 

The kids were pleased with the toy that they received.  Nathan was thrilled to get his 500 piece Titanic Lego set and couldn't wait to start putting it together.  Mya loved her Barbie horse set and played with it all day.

Our family gift was Twister.  This game is much harder as an adult than I remember it as a kid!  Sheldon and I tried to play as the kids requested, but we were out after two moves:)  Kids are so flexible!  And yes, Nathan stayed in his underwear all day.  He considers that a great day!

 

Here is a picture of the kids with the gifts that they received from each other. 

We were blessed to have Grandma Marcia join us for the day as well.  This was her first Christmas without her husband Garry.  In the midst of grieving and missing him, she chose joy on Christmas. Not an easy thing to do! We had the nicest time with her.  We were really blessed that she came for the day and helped add to our fun and relaxing day.  The kids were excited about her gift, but loved playing games and baking cookies with her too.  We all did lots of laughing, eating, playing, and relaxing! The kiddos were also able to have a fun sleepover at Grandma's house this break and didn't want to come back home:)  They sure are spoiled and loved by her!

And by the end of the day the Lego set was put together!  We had one happy boy!

What a great day!!!!!

Nathan Loses First Tooth

Who said he could grow up?!  He was sure excited and thought the tooth fairy was very generous:) 

Family Time, Games, Collections, and more...

We have spent lots of time playing games on break and have helped Nathan with his new coin collection.  The kids adore this one on one time with us.  And these kids of ours are getting very good at beating us at their favorite games which include Memory, Skipbo, Uno, Go Fish, and Old Maid.  We also have made time to watch some old home videos when the kids were babies.  It made us even more excited to meet our new little one and made us realize how fast our kids are growing up and changing.  These young years are flying by!

Sledding
These two love to sled.  Even when its freezing cold out!  They don't stop until you make them get in the car to go home. 

 I stood at the top of the big hill and froze to death.  Mya didn't see me putting on all my winter gear and when she turned around she actually thought I was a stranger! lol!  When she heard my voice she started to laugh and told me she thought I was someone else.  What a crack up!

Wouldn't know why she thought I was someone else.  You would have thought I was dressed for the worst blizzard.  But seriously, the wind was so cold!!! 

So there is the extra long recap of our Christmas break!  Now that Christmas is over and the New Year is here, we can officially get ready for our new baby that will be here in February.  Let the nesting begin!  I have all sorts of nesting powers that are wearing me out:)

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!